Other exercises to help

Here are some other exercises that we hope may be useful as we go through these potentially difficult experiences. These exercises can be used at any point of the process.

1. Writing

   A good way of helping to address our feelings throughout this experience is to write them down. This may feel daunting at first, so let’s break it down. Plan to spend 10 minutes, or however long we need, and set a timer. Sit without distractions and outside noise. We can either use pen and paper, or use a laptop to get our words out. This isn’t school work and is just for us so we shouldn’t worry about ‘quality’. Write down everything and anything that comes to mind. Let it out without self-criticism and questioning. Afterward, we can choose what to do with the notes we write out - we may want to keep them or dispose of them straight away. If it has been written out on paper, and if it’s safe to, burning it or ripping it up could help us feel a sense of release. We may want or need to do this several times throughout our journey. After this, we may notice changes in how we feel and think over time, and may be able to see our decision and voice form and shine clear throughout.
   

2. Relaxation

   Our emotional and physical wellbeing is key. We should give ourselves 5 minutes during the day and find somewhere comfortable, warm and quiet to sit or lie down. Close our eyes and begin by taking some slow deep breaths, and notice the breath passing through our nose. Now allow the floor, chair or bed to take the weight of our body. Feel how each part of our body is weighing down. Noticing the sound of our breathing, see if we can stay focused on this for now. If our mind starts to wander, we should gently bring it back. After a little while of doing this, we can open our eyes and sit for a moment before continuing with our day.
   

3. Being kind and compassionate to ourselves

   We often find it easier to be kind, fair and compassionate towards other people than to ourselves. But it can be helpful and so useful to consider what we’d say to someone else in a similar situation. We can try to imagine talking to somebody else going through a situation like ours. They may have gone through trauma, are trying to report their assault, or are deciding to have an abortion. What might we say to them? How would we talk to them (e.g. would we shout at them or would we use a more caring, supportive voice)? What would they need to help them cope at that point in time? Take that compassion and bring it back to yourself.
   

4. Find our “Wise Other”

   It can be really helpful for us to think about the wisest person we know - someone who understands that this can be a difficult time and who wants the best for us, both now and in the future. This wise person doesn’t have to be someone we know in real life. They can perhaps be someone from our favourite TV, film or books. It could even be an animal or object that we see as being very wise (like a wise owl - literally!) We can try to pick someone or something that we see as compassionate (which includes having wisdom, strength and warmth, and being non-judgemental). What would this wise other say to us right now? What would they want for us? How does this make us think and feel about our decision? We should write down our answers and take the time to reflect on them.