Practising self-care

When we work through our trauma and what has happened to us, it is so important that we take the time to actively remember and practice self-care and love. Processing and moving through a trauma can be emotionally draining or we may be healing from physical injuries, so it’s important that we keep our body and mind healthy and strong.

Self-care is about us actively taking the steps to get us back to feeling healthy, content and comfortable both physically and mentally. Whether our trauma happened to us recently or years ago, practising self-care can help us cope with the short- and long-term effects of assault.

If you’re unsure of where to start to practice emotional self-care, don’t worry, we’ve compiled some ideas for you! Some may resonate with you, and some you may like and find more useful than others and that’s okay - what’s important is finding what works best for you:

1. Practice some “Gentle” Mindfulness. Meditation and mindfulness can help us with focusing on our breathing and dealing with moments of panic. Apps like Headspace give breathing exercises to help when we feel like we’re panicking or struggling, and offer free courses on mindfulness to help us when we’re struggling.

2. Practice “Active” Mindfulness: Colouring, making art or crafting, re-organising your home, cooking a meal or learning a brand new recipe can help us be actively mindful and help us.

3. Try journaling. This can be a way of keeping a regular account of your life, what you are doing and how you are feeling. Most importantly, it’s a way of externalising our experiences.

4. Try Chayn's Bill of Rights exercise. The Bill of Rights is a super important exercise that talks about needs and entitlement. Self-esteem and entitlement are intrinsically linked. Building our self esteem up will help to feel more entitled to take care of our own needs. All of the statements listed in the Bill of Rights are fundamentally true and speak to our own right to recover and heal. Our Bill of Rights exercise helps us talk about what we need and are entitled to. We’ve put together a crossword puzzle for you to try. Once you’ve done the puzzle, read out each word by saying “I have a right to…”. Do you feel entitled to these things? Think about which ones resonate with you and which ones feel harder for you to say outloud or believe. It can be helpful to notice which ones you struggle with the most so you can come back to them later. Be kind to yourself while you work through these.

5. Challenge negative thoughts. This can seem difficult at first when we start our self-care journey, but actively challenging negative thoughts can be key to self-care and supporting ourselves through our experiences. When faced with negative thoughts, ask yourself, “why do I think this?”, “is there anything I can do to rationalise or work against this?”

6. Listen to your body. When we’re tired, hungry or worn out, our body tells us that we need to take a step back and take a break. This is the same for us mentally. Listen to your body when it tells you to take a break and take time for yourself.

7. Get rid of downers. Alcohol and other drugs may give a good feeling at first, but together with bad mental health, they can end up making you feel worse. When used as a way to escape from your feelings, they can make it more difficult for you to get better. Other numbing ways of dealing with sadness and stress are ignoring and bottling up feelings, working or studying too hard, hurting yourself, and hurting others.

8. Practice on your fundamentals. By fundamentals, we mean the basics that can help and support you. Establish a supportive sleep routine, eating in a way that energises your body and supports your unique digestive system, taking time for baths and developing plans to stay consistent

9. Do whatever it is that fuels, rejuvenates, motivates and nourishes you in safe, supported way.

10. Remember that you are safe and supported, even if you don’t feel it all the time. What happened to us has happened and it is over. It may take longer than we think, but we will feel better.

It’s important to remember that working through trauma is not a race. Some of these suggestions for developing regular self-care routines that help you cope might feel a little out of reach right now, and that’s okay. If that’s the case, you might want to start finding support and come back to this list when you feel you are ready. Healing and self-care is work in progress. Give yourself permission to start small or wherever you need to as you work through your self-care. Start anew. Start wherever you are.